How I ended the cycle of abuse.
They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
I was insane.
Looking back, the level of self-sabotage I inflicted on myself was abhorrent. I got into abusive relationship after abusive relationship, always repeating the same mistake. At first my relationship seemed awesome and appeared to be developed on trust and open communication. But as the months passed by, I began to realize this was not the case.
They say the pattern of abuse is often cyclical.
Even in passing conversations, I always got the sense that my parents had been abused, just like I had. I uncovered that even my neighbors, my relatives, and some of my closest friends were living lives of quiet desperation. They saw no alternative. What was everyone to do? When the power is so unevenly distributed in a relationship, what choice do you really have but to... go on.
I’ve since moved on. We all get older and wiser, for the most part. I found out that I wasn’t actually trapped, that I could find someone who was upfront with me, who didn’t leave on the phone waiting… and waiting. For the first time, I am ready to identify my abuser. It’s the last step involved in the recovery process.My name is Sabrina, and I was abused by my local cable provider.